Coming Back Home
by AnaEvelyn
Summary: Everything in Jordan’s life is falling apart—loosing Kayla, her friends’ lack of support, Woody’s rejection of her. As Jordan turns inward on herself, can anyone bring her back?
1. Breakdown

**Disclaimer: I do not now, nor will I ever, own anything to do with Crossing Jordan. **

**I'm a teacher, I couldn't afford it;-)**

**Summary: Everything in Jordan's life is falling apart—loosing Kayla, her friends' lack of support, Woody's rejection of her. As Jordan turns inward on herself, can anyone bring her back? Spoilers through Thin Ice; probably AU after that. Unconventional pairing—Woody and Jordan don't end up together, so don't read it if you are still hoping.**

Chapter 1: Breakdown

As Jordan stood in the shower the water mixed with her tears. The breakdown she knew was coming finally happened. She had declined Garret's offer for dinner, knowing that she couldn't hold back the tears that long. And she'd rather have died than let him see her pain.

All that was left was the misery of the past month, and Jordan simply couldn't take it anymore. Her whole life she had been searching for love. Just one person who would accept her for who she was and never leave. She'd wrecked her chance with JD, a man who truly did care for her, probably even loved her. Jordan was willing to admit that it had been her fault—that she had been the one that left in that case.

Then there was Kayla. Jordan was amazed at how quickly she became attached to the girl. A teenager, of all people. She never thought about being a mother, but with Kayla it just fit. She had wanted Kayla, and Kayla wanted her back. Fate, it seemed, was against that. Jordan knew that Kayla would be happy with her mom—what Jordan wouldn't do to have a second chance to know her own mother. But letting go still hurt. A lot.

The whole issue was compounded by her friends' reactions. Drinking had torn Garret apart, but he didn't have to shred her confidence like that. If anyone else had said that she wasn't "temperamentally suited" to raising kids, Jordan would've simply blown it off. That wasn't the case here. She actually cared about what he thought, and the words stung. Bug, Lily, and Nigels' words too…so what if she never cooked? She was a single girl, and she didn't have to. Jordan knew when to step up and do things the right way, and she had with Kayla. They were just too wrapped up in making fun of her to notice.

Lily had come around, but then the next week she turned on Jordan again. Brandau must really be some guy, to get Lily so angry. And who was Lily to yell when Jordan went on a crusade? It's not like Lily never got self-righteous about a case. Lily apologized, but Jordan only said words of forgiveness. She didn't really mean them…she just wanted Lily to leave her alone. She needed space to process Woody's actions.

Woody. The tears fell harder and faster once Jordan started thinking about him. She couldn't believe he was with Lu. He had told her he wanted a relationship, just not so soon. But wasn't sleeping with your shrink a few days later too soon as well? Jordan couldn't understand—she thought Woody loved her, and someone who loved her wouldn't do something like that. Not after they'd slept together. Not after she'd given up one of the only working relationships of her life. Jordan felt so used, like a piece of garbage. If Woody just wanted a fling, then he got it and could forget about ever getting it another time. She was certainly never going to trust him again.

Or anyone else, for that matter. Jordan sighed as she turned off the shower and wrapped herself up in a towel. She took a good long look in the mirror. No, she wouldn't trust anyone again. If she did, she'd just get hurt. From now on, it was Jordan Cavanaugh on her own. She didn't need anyone else. She'd turn inside, and build the walls so high that no one could get over them. Then, she thought, she'd never have to hurt like this again.


	2. The Wall

**Thank you for the reviews! They let me know that you're enjoying the story and I'm not wasting my time. Please let me know if it's going to slow, or if I can make it better somehow.**

Chapter Two: The Wall

"Hey, Jordan. Care to join me for dinner tonight?" Garret's voice tore Jordan away from her paperwork. Though she loathed it like none other, paperwork was an extremely effective way to shut out the world.

"No thanks, I'm going to just go home," she replied. Garret had been asking her to dinner for the last two weeks, since she'd turned him down the first time. Every time her response was the same—no explanation, just a polite decline.

Garret sighed, slightly frustrated. "What's wrong, Jordan? You usually jump at the chance of a free meal."

"I'm fine. I just need a little personal time, that's all."

"No, you're not fine. There's something wrong...you're acting—jeez, Jordan! You're doing paper work!"

"Yes, when one works at a morgue, it has to be done," Jordan said. She really needed to leave before her carefully placed façade came crashing down and she confessed everything to Garret. She couldn't do that—no one could see the real Jordan anymore. She didn't trust anyone, not even Garret.

"Would you at least let me buy you a drink?" Garret asked, knowing he was defeated for the night.

Jordan smiled softly. "Goodnight, Dr. Macy." With that, Jordan picked up her purse and slid out the door and down the hallway.

Garret closed his eyes briefly. It had been like this for a few weeks. Jordan was completely professional. She did her job, nothing more, nothing less. No passion. No dogged searches for truth. Just autopsies, reports, and paperwork. She didn't chat in the break room, or barge through his door to argue. She kept to herself. Calling him "Dr. Macy" was just one of a long list of things Jordan had begun doing. Garret didn't yet realize exactly what she was doing, only that he wanted things to go back the way they were.

* * *

"Cavanaugh, haven't seen you in a while. How's your love life?" Matt Seely asked knowingly. Jordan and Bug walked down the alley toward Jordan's first crime scene of the day.

"What do we have, Detective?" Her professional tone was obvious.

"Dead guy," Seely smarted back. "What's with the Ice Princess routine?" Bug rolled his eyes. Jordan ignored him and went about her job. She assessed time of death, ID, and possible manner of death.

"So…that's it? You'd think that people would come up with more creative ways to kill one another," Seely said.

"Well, the killer probably wanted to K.I.S.S.," Bug offered. Seely gave him a bewildered look. "Keep It Simple, Stupid," Bug explained.

Jordan rejoined the group. "He's ready to go in the van, I'll fax you the report when we're done."

"What's with the professionalism, really?" asked Seely. "You're no fun to work with when I can't make fun of you. This is just boring." But Jordan was already heading back to her SUV.

"She's been like this for a bit," explained Bug. "We can't figure out what her deal is."

"Well, maybe she just needs a little male charisma," commented Seely smugly.

"I hope you don't mean yourself," laughed Bug. "I'll see you back at the morgue."

* * *

The ride to the morgue was silent. Jordan preferred working cases with Bug to anyone else. He was naturally quiet, and would never ask too many questions. They worked on the autopsy equally noiselessly. Nothing other than the case was discussed, and when they were done it was time to go home.

Jordan stopped briefly by her office, and then was out the door. For once, she escaped Garret and his dinner invitations. However, when she reached her big red door, Jordan thought that she would have preferred a confrontation with her boss.

Woody smiled hesitantly. "Hey, Jordan. How are you?"

"Do you need something, Detective?" Jordan questioned, ignoring the greeting.

"Uh…no. Yes. Well, not for a case…," Woody trailed off. Jordan had had little contact with Woody since she discovered his romantic involvements, and hearing her call him "Detective" caught Woody off guard.

"I'm afraid I can't help you then," Jordan said, attempting to side step him and unlock her door.

"C'mon, Jordan! Just let me talk to you. I know you're upset about me and Lu. I need to explain," Woody practically begged.

"What you do with your life is none of my concern anymore," Jordan replied. "We're colleagues now, and nothing more. I'd rather not mix work with my personal life, so if you'd be kind enough to leave—"

"No, Jordan. No. I'm not letting you do this. You mean too much to me. I'm not giving up on you!" Woody was forcefully blocking her way through. If Jordan didn't get inside fast, she'd be in shambles on the floor. No, Woody had to leave.

"You already did, Detective," she said, trying not to give away how hurt she was. "If you don't let me through, I'll have to report you."

Woody just stared at her. "You can't be serious, sweetie. After all we've been through." She looked at him straight in the eye, her mind concentrating solely on putting up the wall.

"Go home, Woody. You are not needed here."


	3. A New Best Friend

Chapter 3: A New Best Friend

Jordan hadn't seen Woody since that night. She smiled ruefully when she thought of it. Woody had been truly shocked to learn that she wanted nothing to do with him. He said that he only wanted things to be like they used to be. How could he expect her to be buddy-buddy with him while he was sleeping with Lu? Sometimes, the stupidity of men had Jordan truly dumbfounded.

Her life was fine. Jordan didn't need anyone. On some nights though, it could get a little lonely. That was when Jordan reminded herself of all the hurtful things her friends said about her. That always strengthened her resolve. So here she was on a Friday night—nothing but her, the TV, and a bottle of Guiness. It was perfect.

But it was lonely. Jordan sighed. She thought that maybe it would be all right if she called Nigel or Lily. Then she shook her head. No. No amount of loneliness was worth having her heart shattered into tinier pieces. They'd probably just yell at her for ignoring them for so long. Being alone wasn't anything Jordan couldn't handle.

The walls began to creep in on her, however. Enough so that, although it was nearing dark, Jordan put on her running shoes and headed outside. She jogged on her familiar path…through the park, down by the docks. She stopped to take a rest and noticed the few people who were out. They all seemed to be enjoying the weather. Some were talking, others were walking dogs.

Suddenly, Jordan had found the answer to her loneliness problem—a dog. A dog would be perfect. It would never, ever, yell at her or tell her that she wasn't good enough. It would just love her, and she could talk to it all she wanted and not have to worry. She thought about it further…could she take care of a dog? Sure, she could never keep a plant alive. But a plant didn't bark at you to remind you to feed it, and it didn't go to the bathroom on the floor if you forgot to take it out. Yes, Jordan could take care of a dog just fine. She smiled to herself and took off back to her apartment.

* * *

The next morning, Jordan woke up early….semi-early, and started to prepare for her new friend. She moved some furniture, created a spot for it to sleep, and went shopping. She needed food, a bowl, a leash, and some toys. All of this was done in record time, and Jordan was on her way to the animal shelter.

She thought that a puppy might be a bit difficult to start with, but she didn't want a very old dog. Jordan wanted it to have a full long life with her. She looked carefully at all of the dogs, considering age and size. Finally, she found the perfect one. It was a mutt of some sort; it looked as if it was at least part golden retriever. The lady at the shelter said the dog, a female, was only a year old. It was found on the streets, obviously cared for, but the owners were never located.

"We call her Pooch," the lady said. "She's up-to-date on all of her shots, and she's been house trained."

"She's just what I'm looking for," Jordan replied. "I'll take her."

As soon as the dog was released into Jordan's arms, it began to lick her face profusely. Jordan laughed at the sensation. "I guess she's a people dog."

"She sure is. Pooch is always ready for attention," the lady explained.

Jordan snapped the leash and collar onto the dog, paid the fee, and led her new friend to the car.

* * *

When they got home, the dog made a point of sniffing every nook and cranny of Jordan's apartment. Satisfied with whatever she found, the dog trotted back up to Jordan expectantly.

"I bet you're hungry, huh girl?" Jordan asked. The dog continued to stare at her. "Okay, I'll feed you then. Hope you like Kibbles 'N Bits." Apparently, the dog did because the food was gone in under a minute.

Jordan took a seat on the couch, and the dog came and sat at her feet. "You know, I'm going to have to change your name," she started. "'Pooch' just isn't my style."

Jordan thought for a while. She was surprised at how difficult it was to think of a good dog name. Finally, she looked back at the dog and said, "You're supposed to be man's best friend. You should be helping me think." Then, the song lyrics "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" floated through Jordan's head. She smiled.

"Got it! What do you think of the name Diamond?" Jordan asked the dog. As if on cue, it let out a small bark. "Diamond it is then." The two spent the rest of the day getting to know one another.

When it was time to go to bed, Jordan showed Diamond her space and the dog laid down. No sooner than Jordan had crawled into her bed, however, Diamond came bounding up on top.

"Oh, no. You're not sleeping here. Go back to your bed," Jordan commanded. Diamond simply laid down and settled in. Jordan stared at her for a minute and then said, "Whatever, have it your way. It beats waking up to empty space." Jordan flopped back down on her pillow, and drifted off to sleep.


	4. Running

**So the last chapter was not so great. Hopefully this chapter will be better. Reviews are nice, as always. Thanks:-)**

Chapter Four: Running

Jordan walked slowly down the hallway to her office. The weekend had been good. Everything with Diamond was working out well, but Jordan was ready to get back to work. There were only so many things she could keep herself occupied with at home. At work, she could get lost in the paperwork and cases.

Unfortunately, the world was not going to let that happen just yet. Jordan hadn't been sitting for five minutes when Lily tapped on her door.

"Come in," Jordan called.

"Good morning, Jordan. How are you?" Lily asked as she stepped inside and closed the door.

"I'm fine. Do you have something for me?" Jordan replied, anxious to find a reason not to continue the conversation.

"No, I just wanted to talk," Lily replied. "We haven't done that in a while."

"Yeah. Well, I've been busy."

"Jordan, all you do is work and go home. You don't hang out anymore. What happened?"

"Lily, I'm fine," Jordan gave an annoyed sigh. "I'm here to do my work, please just let me do it."

"Are you acting like this because Woody is with Lu?" Lily blurted out.

Jordan started at her for a spell, then said abruptly, "That's none of your business." With that, Jordan turned and headed toward the locker rooms leaving Lily standing alone.

* * *

Lily stormed across the street and into the precinct. After her less-than-successful attempt to get Jordan out of her shell, her worry had turned into anger. Anger at the person she thought was the sole cause of Jordan's behavior.

"Woody! A word with you. _Alone_," she practically spat at the detective.

"Okay, sure," he replied, completely clueless.

As soon as he shut the door to his office, Lily's simmering temper burst to boiling.

"How _could_ you be so _stupid_! Did you honestly think that she would be happy that you were with someone else? Did you even _think_ about her feelings? Now look what you've done—she won't speak to any of us! I HOPE YOUR HAPPY!"

"Whoa, whoa. Lily, what are you talking about?" Woody asked, trying to get a grip on reality.

"You have got to be kidding me," she answered. "_Jordan_, you idiot!"

Woody sighed, and cast his eyes downward. "That whole thing is complicated. I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't mean for Lu and I to happen, it just did."

"But you are still seeing her. Woody, a steady relationship doesn't just happen. Both people have to make a conscious choice to be together."

Woody hung his head. "I know. I know. But it doesn't matter now. Jordan has made it perfectly clear that she wants nothing to do with me."

"That's the point, Woody!" Lily was exasperated. "She doesn't want anything to do with anyone. And it's your fault!"

"Yeah, maybe it is," Woody said, his voice rising slightly. "If you have any ideas on how to fix it, please fill me in. Yelling at me isn't going to make her come back!"

Lily's jaw dropped, and she realized exactly what Jordan was doing. Slowly, she shook her head. "No, it won't make her come back. I'm sorry for yelling. I'm just so frustrated and worried about her."

Woody nodded slightly. "Accepted. But maybe you should go back to the morgue and try to find some real answers." He turned back to the door and left.

Lily stood there awhile thinking. With a determined look she left the room briskly almost running into Santana.

"Hey, watch it!" The girl said, stumbling a little.

"Oh, Luisa. I'm sorry, I didn't see you there," Lily apologized.

"That's all right, I wasn't exactly watching where I was going either."

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to the office."

"No problem. Have a good one."

Lily waved her response, and then was back on her mission.

* * *

For the second time that day, Lily came into Jordan's office. Only this time she didn't knock.

"I know what you're doing," Lily said, folding her arms and looking straight into Jordan's eyes.

"I'm doing my work, like I'm supposed to," Jordan replied, not understanding where Lily was going with this.

"You're running. You're running just like you always do."

"Lily, I'm not running. I'm right here. I still come to work everyday; I haven't jumped on a plane or driven away."

"No, physically you're still here. Mentally, emotionally, you're as far away as China. Jordan, that's not any better than what you did before," Lily pleaded with her. "Whatever happened between you and Woody, that's not a reason to shut out the rest of us. We're your friends. We care about you."

The wall was up, high and thick. "Lily, I told you that it is none of your business. Not what happened with Woody, not how I'm acting, none of it. You don't know everything. Please just leave me alone."

Lily stared at Jordan, at a loss for how to respond. Finally, she quietly stepped closer to Jordan and said, "Whatever it is, I love you Jordan. You're part of my family, and when you hurt, so do I. When you're ready, please come to me."

Jordan didn't respond, and Lily silently let herself out. Jordan fought to keep the tears out of her eyes. She couldn't let Lily back in. Lily was part of the reason she shut everyone out in the first place. The wall had to stay up. Lily was right about one thing—Jordan was running. And she wasn't about to stop until she was as far away as possible.


	5. By the Docks

Chapter Five: By the Docks

Jordan's feet pounded the pavement as Diamond ran beside her. They were on their usually Saturday morning run. Running not only passed the time, but it made Jordan feel like she was still a part of society—regardless that she was not interacting with it. She always went to busy places, but her favorite was by the docks. Something about the ocean drew her in.

It was an exceptionally crowded morning, as it was one of the first really nice spring days after the harsh Boston winter. Jordan had to be careful to keep out of other people's ways and to prevent Diamond from chasing every new thing she saw. She was doing a good job of it, until Diamond spotted a big flock of seagulls. The dog took off like a jet, pulling Jordan behind her. Jordan could barely keep up with the dog, despite her commands for Diamond to stop.

Diamond turned slightly off the sidewalk, forcing Jordan into the other lane of joggers. She smacked right into the first person coming the other way, and both of them fell to the ground in a heap.

Jordan's head spun, but she was jerked back to reality when the other person started yelling.

"You stupid slut! Why don't you watch where you're going! Can't you control that dog of yours? You crazy freak! Don't ever—Jordan…"

It was Woody. Jordan stood up quickly next to him. They stared at each other before Jordan mumbled an apology and pushed passed him. She gave Diamond's leash a forceful tug and started running as fast as she could away from him.

So that's what Woody thought of her. That's what he really thought—she was a tramp. After what had happened with him, she felt like one too. All of the feelings she'd had after finding out about Lu came crashing back. Feelings of being used, betrayed, and expendable. Not of being loved like she thought Woody had felt about her. Jordan ran harder; now she just wanted to go home.

Tears began to pour down her face. She hardly even realized that she was crying until her vision became totally clouded. Just as she went to wipe the tears away, she crashed into someone else. This time she didn't fall right away. She stumbled backwards, but the person she ran into caught her in time and steadied her.

"Are you okay?" The man asked.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean…I'm sorry," Jordan stammered.

The man started to say something else, but Jordan was so certain that he'd lash out at her like Woody had done that she took off again. Horrified at her emotional outburst, she ran at top speed all the way back to her apartment. If she hadn't been holding Diamond's leash so tightly, the dog would have been left completely behind.

Jordan unlocked her door and hurried the dog inside. She slammed the door shut again and pressed her back to it. Tears continued to fall as Jordan slid down to the floor. Diamond snuggled next to her in an attempt to be comforting, but Jordan was beyond help. She pulled her knees tightly to her chest and sobbed until she had no more energy left.


	6. Revelation

**Thanks for the reviews!Please leet me know if this next chapter is believable. Although, I am going to clear up some of what may seem out-of-character in the next chapter. Happy reading!**

Chapter Six: Revelation

Jordan woke up with a pounding headache. She carefully lifted her head up and allowed her eyes to get used to the late afternoon light. She looked around, confused as to why she was on the floor. Then the memories cam filtering back to her. The run. Woody. The other guy she ran into. Jordan shook her head, and winced when her head pounded more.

A whimper to her left made Jordan look up again. Diamond was at her side, clearly needing attention. Jordan quickly assessed how long she'd been asleep.

Tears filled her eyes; her emotions were still getting the better of her. "I'm so sorry, Diamond," she cried. "I'm so sorry. I forgot to let you out. I forgot to feed you. I'm sorry…you depend on me and I let you down." She reached around the dog's neck and hugged the animal tightly.

Still sniffling, Jordan got up. She took hold of Diamond's leash, which had never been removed, and the two went outside. Diamond walked around for a few seconds, enjoying the weather before taking care of business. They went back upstairs and Jordan got out Diamond's food and fed her.

Jordan wearily moved to the couch and sunk down on it. After Diamond finished eating, which took all of thirty seconds, she trotted over to Jordan's side. The dog licked her hand and looked at her with huge puppy eyes. All was forgiven; the dog still loved her.

Jordan smiled a bit and scratched Diamond behind the ears. Diamond jumped onto the couch and settled in. The peace didn't last, however, as Jordan's doorbell rang.

She considered ignoring it, but then decided that she didn't want whoever it was to start yelling through the door. She opened the door, and was shocked to see the person standing outside.

"Detective Seely," she said. "Why are you here? Did you need something for a case?"

"No, Jordan. I came to see if you were all right."

"I'm fine," she replied, casting a look down at her rumpled appearance. "Why would I be any different? And why would you care?"

Seely looked at her incredulously. "Don't you remember?"

"Remember what? Look, if you were sent by Lily or anyone else, you've wasted your time."

"No one sent me, Jordan. I wanted to check up on you—you were upset this morning."

"How do you know anything that happened to me this morning? Who told you?" Jordan was beginning to get nervous.

"Jordan, calm down. It's okay…Can I come in?" Seely asked.

"I don't see why that's necessary…" Jordan started, buy Seely ignored her completely and pushed passed her.

"Detective, you don't need to be here! Please leave, I don't know what you're talking about," Jordan fumed, slamming the door.

"For goodness, sake Jordan. Why else would I come down here? You were crying today!" Jordan gave him a disbelieving look. "You ran into me at the docks, remember?"

Jordan froze. She hadn't been paying any attention to whoever she had smacked into…she'd just wanted to get away before the person had a chance to yell at her.

"That was you?" She whispered, horrified.

"Yes, that was me," Seely replied equally softly. "Don't worry, it's okay…no harm done. But you were really upset…I just thought I'd see if I could help."

Jordan straightened up and regained her composure. "There's no need for that. I appreciate the thought, but I'm fine now," she said, hoping he'd take the hint.

He didn't.

"No, I don't think you are. Jordan, I know how you've been acting these past few months. Something's wrong…I don't know what it is, but it's there. You've withdrawn from everyone." He stepped forward and gently rested his hands on her shoulders. "You're not alone, Jordan. Whatever's going on, it's okay to let people in."

Jordan flinched and backed away. "Please, Detective. I'm not your charity case, and I don't want anyone's help. You've never cared before, why start now? I'm fine on my own. Now, if you don't have a case you need to discuss, then you should leave," she said in a desperate attempt to get him away and retain control over the situation.

Seely took another step forward and wrapped his arms completely around her. Jordan fought, but he held on.

"It's all right, Jordan," he whispered. "It's all right. You don't have to fight. Just stop fighting. You don't need to fight everything all the time."

By this time, tears had once more started falling down Jordan's cheeks. "Please, j-just leave…leave m-me alone," she begged. Matt held on tighter, careful not to hurt her, until Jordan gave up.

She let him hold her, only because she was too exhausted to fight any longer. He led her over to the couch, sat her down, and pulled her close. Her crying finally subsided, and they simply sat quietly. Jordan had no idea how long they stayed that way. After awhile, she vaguely sensed that she was being picked up. Matt carried her over to the bed, and tucked her in gently.

She looked up at him, but didn't say anything.

"Are you going to be all right, or do you want me to stay?" Matt asked.

"…I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

She nodded.

"Okay, then. I'll see you tomorrow." Matt stood up to leave.

"Bye, Matt," Jordan said right before he went out the door. He smiled, waved, and stepped out into the night.


	7. Dinner Invitation

**Sorry for my tardiness with this chapter. It's only just now that I can sit up without feeling like a hammer is pounding against my skull. Thanks for the reviews; they keep my confidence up. On to the next chapter:-)**

Chapter Seven: Dinner Invitation

Matt strutted down the hallway whistling to himself. Although he was at the morgue for a fairly serious matter, he didn't feel the need to let anyone else in on that. He stopped whistling a few paces from Jordan's door, and knocked twice when he got there.

"Come in."

"Hey, Jordan," Matt said cautiously as he opened the door. He closed it quietly and turned to look face her. Her eyes registered her discomfort. He hesitated before saying, "I just wanted to make sure you were all right…"

Jordan masked her emotions quickly. "I'm fine, Matt. Just fine. Is there anything else you need?"

"Yes, actually, there is." Matt took a breath. "Would you come to dinner with me?"

Jordan looked at him like he'd grown three heads. "Why would I want to do that?" She asked. "Why would _you_ want to do that?"

"Because I care about you," he answered, completely bypassing her first question.

"That'll be the day," Jordan muttered, but Matt heard nevertheless.

"Look, Jordan. I know you think I'm this totally crass, insensitive jerk. And it's not like I haven't acted like that, but I gotta tell you…that's not me. Not really."

Jordan raised one eyebrow suspiciously. "Matt, I don't really care. I don't want to go to dinner with you."

"Just hear me out, please," Matt said quickly. Jordan sighed and looked down at her desk. "When I came here," he continued, "I wanted everyone to think I was tough. I look like a pretty boy, like anyone could just run all over me. I didn't want anyone from the department thinking I was a wimp, so I put on this attitude. Once I got settled, it just kind of stuck. I'm not that way any other time, not hardly at work anymore either. I _do_ care about you, Jordan. And it's not a romantic invitation. It's just dinner—with a friend. That's all."

Jordan continued starring at her desk, trying to wrap her head around all of her swirling emotions. Matt wasn't a jerk? The idea fit with how he acted last night…that didn't seem fake. Suddenly, the offer was tempting—to have a friend. But then her heart stung, reminding her of all the hurt she'd endured from her other "friends." She mentally shook herself, and the wall remained intact.

"Matt," she said calmly. "I'm really sorry about last night. That you had to see me…that way. But I'm really okay, and you don't need to fuss over me. I can take care of myself….Thank you for the offer, but I'd rather keep our relationship professional."

"That's the only kind of relationship you have," Matt quietly reminded her.

Jordan nodded. "And that's my choice." She walked over and opened the door for him. Silently, Matt nodded acceptance and walked out.

As he continued down the hall, Matt smiled softly. He hadn't expected her to go to dinner with him. He knew she wouldn't let anyone in that quickly. He had gotten her to talk on a personal level; she hadn't even called him "Detective." She would go to out to dinner with him, eventually. Matt may not really be a jerk, but he was cocky enough to believe in that.


	8. Seventeen

**Whoo hoo! Yes, Seely. He's hot, and we don't really know that much about him, so he's perfect;-).**

Chapter Eight: Seventeen

"Good Afternoon!" Matt's too-cheerful voice rang through the hallway as he caught up with Jordan.

Jordan closed her eyes briefly and ignored the detective. For the last couple of weeks he had been there everyday. And everyday he asked her to go to dinner with him. Jordan had used every trick in the books to make him go away, but to no avail. She was ready to take him up on his invitation if it meant that he'd leave her alone, but she knew that would not be the case. She walked quickly to her office, hoping to shut the door before he got inside.

No such luck. Matt side-stepped her just as she reached for the door, and it closed with him decidedly on the inside. Jordan suppressed a groan.

"Seventeen times," he stated matter-of-factly. "Today makes seventeen times I've asked you to dinner. Are you really going to turn me down again?"

"Yes, I am," she answered. "Why won't you leave me alone? Why am I so important that you have to keep hammering on about going to dinner with you? No means no…just get over it…I thought you said you weren't a jerk!"

Matt smiled at her ranting. "I've been a perfect gentleman."

"You've been perfectly _annoying_," Jordan shot back.

"Jordan, I don't know what else to say," he said, suddenly serious. "I don't know how I can prove to you that I'm not a jerk unless you give me a chance."

"You being a jerk really has nothing to do with it," Jordan admitted. "I just don't want to be in a personal relationship with anyone I work with—romantic or otherwise."

"I know that, Jordan. It's just dinner. We can talk about cases if you want…keep it totally professional. You just need to get out a bit…not be so alone all the time."

"Please, don't tell me what I need. You're not my shrink."

"Okay, okay. You're right…I'm sorry. You just seem lonely, that's all," Matt relented.

"I'm not. I'm fine. _Fine_," Jordan emphasized.

"You say that a lot. You know, there's an acronym for 'fine'," Matt teased, hoping to lighten up the conversation.

"**F**reaked-out, **I**nsecure, **N**eurotic, and **E**motional. Yes, I'm familiar with the reference," Jordan said. "But everyone can be categorized that way, that's why they made it up."

Matt chuckled. "Yeah, I know." He waited for a minute, then continued. "So, what are you going to do tonight since you're not coming with me?"

"I'm going to go home and eat dinner," she replied.

"Really? Eat dinner…why don't you just do that with me?" Matt jumped on her response. Jordan rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Okay, look," Matt said before she could comment. "You're going to eat anyway. If you come with me, it can't possibly be any worse. There's no way you'll be disappointed."

"How's that?" Jordan asked before she could stop herself.

"Because you hate me. You will come to dinner expecting nothing of me, other than a waste of time," Matt replied. "The worst that could happen is exactly that."

Jordan remained silent, biting her lip.

"Come on," Matt coaxed. "You don't have to be afraid."

Her eyes snapped up. "I'm not af—"

He held up his hand. "It's okay. Jordan, it's okay to be afraid. Everyone's afraid of something. It's just dinner. Absolutely harmless. What do you say?" He ended with a soft smile.

"Okay."

* * *

Thirty minutes later Jordan and Matt were seated in a small diner. It wasn't crowded, so they ordered and received their food rather quickly.

"So what's the deal with the Harkins case that had Nigel in such a frenzy?" Matt asked, determined to keep the conversation as professional as possible for Jordan's sake.

She took the bait, and they had an amiable conversation about the various murders in their wonderful city.

When they were done, they paid their bills and headed out into the cool spring evening. Just before they parted to their own cars, Matt spoke up.

"Thank you for coming, Jordan."

Jordan gave him what could have been considered a smile. "Does this mean that you'll leave me alone now?" She asked.

"Not a chance," he said lightheartedly, and Jordan grimaced. Matt sighed, and then said, "All right, let's see if we can work this out. Today is Tuesday. You obviously don't have anything on your schedule other than work, and my Tuesdays are always free. Let's make a deal. You come do dinner with me every Tuesday, and I'll leave you alone at work except for strictly professional matters."

Jordan looked at him warily.

"Come on, dinner only takes an hour. I'm in your office bugging you for at least 15 minutes every day. If you come to dinner, you'll be cutting back the time you have to deal with me by at least 45 minutes each week," he continued trying to persuade her.

Jordan let out a heavy breath. "Promise?" She looked back at him.

"Cross my heart," Matt replied, holding out his hand. Jordan took it.

"Deal."


	9. Falling

Chapter Nine: Falling

And it worked. For two weeks.

Matt sat at the diner waiting in vain for Jordan to show. He finally gave up and ordered his food. As he ate, Matt wondered why their deal fell apart.

Jordan had been coming to dinner with him, and they seemed to get along well. At least, Jordan didn't appear to be too annoyed with him. But then last week, she didn't show up. Matt had let it slide; he didn't want to turn her off in case she had simply forgotten. He made a small comment to her, and let it go.

Now though, she'd blown him off for the second time. Matt sighed. Jordan seemed to be tucking further inside herself as each day went by. She'd called into work sick several times, but Matt had overheard Dr. Macy say that she really wasn't sick. Garret was afraid that Jordan was going to run again. Matt wasn't sure, but he didn't want that to be the case.

He quickly finished his food and paid. He'd go check on her, just to make sure she was still there and that she was okay.

* * *

He rapped his knuckles three times on Jordan's big red door. No answer. He knocked again.

"Jordan, are you there?" Still no response.

Becoming a bit worried, Matt pounded harder on the door. "Jordan! Please open up!"

Finally, he heard a noise. It wasn't Jordan, however. It was a loud bark from Diamond. A small amount of worry left Matt's mind—if the dog was still there, Jordan had to be there too.

"Okay, Jordan. The dog blew your cover. I know you're there; please open the door."

"Go away!" Her voice was muffled by the door.

"Jordan! I'm sorry, but I'm not leaving. You've missed dinner twice, and Macy says you're skipping out on work. What's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. Just leave me alone." Jordan's voice was steady, but Matt thought he detected a bit of panic in it.

"Please let me in. I'm not going to leave until I can see if you are okay."

The door swung open swiftly. Matt jumped back, not expecting her to really open it. He looked up at Jordan. She looked terrible. Her eyes had big circles under them, her hair was a mess, and she had a lost look on her face.

Matt stepped inside and shut the door. Jordan had moved to the middle of the room, her arms wrapped tightly around her middle. Matt walked slowly toward her.

"Hey," he said. "What's going on, Jordan?"

"Why are you here? Why can't you leave me alone?"

"Because you haven't been to dinner with me in two weeks," Matt started. "That was our deal."

"Come on, Matt. Just say it. Tell me why you really came here!" Jordan said, her voice rising.

A confused look cam across his face. "I don't know what you mean. That is why—"

"No it's not! I don't know what you think, Matt, but just because I eat dinner with you doesn't give you OPEN ACCESS TO MY BED!"

The force of Jordan's shout made Matt physically step back. Not far enough, however, because Jordan lunged at him. He quickly caught her by the forearms and twisted her around. He pulled her close to him, her back to his chest. He put her wrists in one hand and wrapped the other around her waste. Jordan thrashed and pulled at him in an attempt to get away.

Matt was shocked. Her explosion came out of nowhere. He had no idea why she would accuse him of such a thing. He realized then that whatever made Jordan so upset was a bigger deal than he had originally thought. Someone must have truly hurt her in order for her to loose control so completely.

He firmly but slowly led her to the couch, with her fighting him all the way. Once they got there, he sat her down and started rocking her.

"Jordan," he began. "I am so sorry if I gave you the impression that I was trying to get you to sleep with me. That was not my intention at all. You were just so alone…you needed a friend…I thought I could be that person."

He didn't think she was listening, but she must've been because Jordan stopped struggling so hard. He continued rocking her until she stopped completely. She wasn't crying, but she was shaking from all the adrenalin pulsing through her body.

"Honey, you are emotionally starved…people weren't meant to live without each other. I know that you've been hurt very badly, but keeping it all inside is only going to make it worse. You've got to trust someone. It's hard, and it hurts to let people in, but if you don't the hurt will just burn a deeper hole in your heart." He released her, slipped one arm behind her back, and took her hands. Softly, he rubbed small circles onto the backs of them.

"It's okay to let it out. It's okay to feel. Please tell me," Matt whispered.

Jordan turned her head slightly in acknowledgment of his words. She hesitated, not being able to let herself trust him fully.

"I'm not going to judge you…I just don't want whatever happened to destroy you."

She swallowed, gathering her courage. She leaned back a little into Matt's embrace before she spoke.


	10. Opening Up

Chapter Ten: Opening Up

"Everyone hates me."

Jordan's voice was barely audible, and Matt had to lean in closer to hear her. She bit her lip, waiting for his response. She was sure he'd think she was being foolish, or that he'd tell her she was wrong and to just get over it.

Instead, all he said was, "How so?"

Jordan paused at the unexpected question. "Because…because they all—everyone at the morgue—they all just pretend to be my friend. They're nice to me while I'm with them…but when I'm gone…they make fun of me…talk about me…they think I'm too messed up to realize what they say. They think I'm crazy, and they wouldn't have anything to do with me if they didn't have to." Her eyes welled up, and one tear escaped down her cheek. Matt continued rocking her and rubbing the backs of her hands.

"When did you find this out?" he asked. Jordan could not believe he wasn't berating her for her feelings. His understanding was unnerving, but calming at the same time.

"When I was taking care of Kayla," Jordan continued. More tears fell as the memories swam through her mind. She confessed everything to Matt. Everything her friends had said—the teasing, the insults, the discouragements. She went on to Garret's drinking and Lily's coldness about anything that concerned Brandau.

Tears were flowing freely by the time she was finished. Jordan tried to hold them back, but Matt's soft "it's okay to cry" was like an exploding bomb to her will power. She turned her face into his shoulder and sobbed. Strangely enough, even though the memories were painful, Jordan felt better. There was a comfort in opening up that she hadn't anticipated.

Once she had composed herself a bit, Matt gently asked, "What about Woody?"

The question sent a sudden wave of anger, hurt, and fear through Jordan. There was no way she wanted Matt to know about everything with her and Woody. She tensed up in Matt's arms. Her uneasiness was enough to cause her to pull away.

"No," she said firmly. "No…no, I can't tell you _that_." Jordan moved to the end of the couch, drew her knees to her chest, and buried her face in her arms.

"Please don't make me," she added in a whisper.

"No, Jordan," Matt answered. "I won't. I won't ever make you tell me anything you don't want to." She felt the couch shift as Matt moved close to her again. Then his hand was on her back, lightly rubbing it. She lifted her head and looked into his eyes.

Matt smiled. "It's okay," he said. "I don't need to know what you aren't ready to tell." He said it so sincerely that Jordan couldn't help but believe him. She let him continue rubbing her back as they sat in silence.

"I guess maybe you really aren't a jerk," she said after a while, wanting to bring the conversation back to normalcy. "At least…you're not a jerk _all_ the time."

Matt laughed. "No, I'm really not." Jordan finally smiled, for the first time in days.

"Have you eaten anything?" he asked. Jordan shook her head. "How about we order a pizza?"

"Sure, that'd be nice."

"Great. Where's your phone? I'll order it."

Jordan handed him the phone and told him what she wanted. As he ordered, she watched him. Her mind was a bit drained, but she felt better than she had in a while. She thought that maybe Matt was right. Maybe it was okay to have a friend to talk to. And suddenly, Jordan wasn't quite so lonely anymore.


	11. Wake Up Call

**Ahhh…lo siento mucho para la parte tarde! Life got in the way a bit…I'm trying very hard not to leave you all hanging.**

**This is growing a lot longer than I thought it would. This is the last chapter that I have planned in my head…I know where I want to go, but I'm having problems getting from Point A to Point B. Any suggestions are game! Thanks a lot. :-) **

Chapter Eleven: Wake Up Call

The next morning, Matt walked into the morgue with a bag and a drink carton in his hands. His mission, however, was twofold. As much as he wanted to make Jordan smile, he also had in mind to do some serious chewing out.

Seeing that Jordan wasn't in her office, Matt turned down the hall to the break room. Most of the staff was in there, chatting merrily and eating lunch.

"Where's Jordan?" Matt asked. All four faces of Lily, Garret, Nigel, and Bug shot up at his voice.

"Ummm…she's on a call," Nigel said uncomfortably. "I think."

"What, you don't know exactly?" Matt asked back, slightly irritated.

"Matt, Jordan hasn't been all that forthcoming with us of a while," Garret replied. "I thought you'd noticed that."

"Actually, I have noticed it, Chief," Matt said. "In fact, it seems like I'm the only one who's tried to do anything about it."

"Oh come on, Seely," Bug snorted. "You can't believe that you're really doing anything to help. You're just annoying her. If we can't get through to Jordan, then no one can."

"And Jordan will come around when she's ready," Lily added. "She just has to work through whatever it is that Woody has done to her, and then she'll be fine."

Matt just stared at them.

"Matt, that's how it works with Jordan. She likes to do things on her own—we've worried and pried all that we can. We just have to wait for her to make the first move," Lily continued her explanation.

"So you're just sitting back and letting her self-destruct?" Matt asked incredulously. "Do you seriously think that's what's good for her? Man, I thought you were her friends!"

"We are her friends," Nigel said seriously. "We just cannot get through to her…if you have any bright ideas on how to do that, please enlighten us!"

"Maybe you should try considering what you did to cause her behavior," Matt shot back.

The others were quiet. "Matt," Lily started slowly. "Jordan withdrew because of Woody…what do you mean 'how did we cause this?'"

"I mean that Woody isn't the only reason Jordan shut down," Matt said softly. "Just think about it…I'm not going to tell you how…you should be able to put the pieces together. But prying and then ignoring her isn't going to work…she needs to know that you care. That you _really_ care." Slowly, Matt walked away, leaving the group sitting in stunned silence.

* * *

After his outburst in the break room, Matt went back to Jordan's office. He wasn't there long before she came back, and they shared an uneventful lunch together. No one else dared come in while Matt was still there.

When Matt got back to the precinct, he took a detour to Woody's office. However much Jordan's friends were to blame, Woody still carried most of it squarely on his shoulders.

Knocking on the door, Matt let himself in.

"Hi, Seely," Woody greeted him. "What can I do for you?"

Matt ran a hand through his hair, trying to curb his exasperation and anger. He took a deep breath and said matter of-factly, "You can go screw yourself, Detective."

"Excuse me?" Woody exclaimed.

"You heard me," Matt spat. "Get off your high horse, cut the crap, and get over yourself. You need to freaking grow up, Hoyt."

"You are out of line, Detective," Woody said defensively.

"No, you are! To think that you can go and screw with other people's lives and feelings with no consequences. What you do affects others, Detective. You aren't Woody the Great…you aren't a superhero…you can't save people all the time and then pretend like they don't matter!"

"Whatever you are talking about, you had better drop it, Seely," Woody replied harshly, coming around and standing in front of Matt.

"Is that a threat?" Matt asked.

"It is if you make it one."

"Well, then I'm going to have to report you."

"You do that."

"Sure thing. Just one question first…did you start screwing the shrink before or after you broke Jordan's heart?"

Woody missed a beat, and then bellowed, "What I do in my personal life is none of your business! You have no right to accuse me of anything!" Woody's face was red with rage.

"It _is_ my right if it affects _my_ friends! You know, everyone thinks that I'm the jerk around here. They're wrong—it's you. And whatever you did to Jordan, I hope you realize what it cost you."

"Don't talk about Jordan in front of me. You have no idea what her or I have been through."

"No, only that she can't even think about whatever happened without shattering to pieces."

"Get. Out. Now."

Matt smiled menacingly. "Already gone, man. You just do me one favor—stay away from her."

Woody moved to shove Matt, but he was too quick. He sailed out the door and into the sea of officers. As he walked back to his desk, Matt sighed. He didn't know what he had accomplished with his eruption; he only knew that Jordan deserved for someone to call Woody on the carpet. He hoped that Woody would actually stay away from her. Maybe then, in combination with her friends' help, Jordan could heal.


	12. Getting Closer

Chapter Twelve: Getting Closer

Jordan was packing up her things to go home when there was a soft knock at her door.

"Come in," she said.

Matt stepped in the door. "Hi," he said. Jordan smiled, but before she could reply Matt swept her up into a giant hug.

"What was that for?" she asked, laughing.

"Well," Matt began. "Research shows that people need six to eight hugs a day to function normally."

"Oh," said Jordan. She smirked and went on, "And you want to make sure I get all that I need?"

"No, actually I'm making sure that I get all _my_ hugs in," Matt replied seriously. But he couldn't keep his face straight for very long before he grinned.

Jordan grinned back at him. "Let's get out of here," she said.

On the way back to Jordan's apartment Matt had to talk her out of getting take out. He claimed that she had already eaten out once that day, and she needed food that wasn't from a restaurant. After begrudgingly agreeing and searching through her frige to find something edible, they ate.

When dinner was over, Matt and Jordan sat on her couch talking. Diamond was sitting in between them, happy as a lark because there were two people scratching her ears.

"So, why'd you get a dog?" Matt asked.

Jordan looked at him for a beat. "I just wanted to."

"Okay…what's the real reason?" He inquired knowingly.

"Matt, that is the real reason. What other reason would there be?"

"I know you, Jordan. And I know that you'd never do anything—much less get a pet—just on a whim."

Jordan looked away from Matt, her cheeks turning pink in embarrassment. "I…ummm…."

"Hey," he said. He reached over and pulled Jordan's chin up until she was looking at him again. "It's okay…you don't have to hide."

Jordan blew out a sigh. "I just…well…Diamond never says anything mean to me. I can tell her whatever I want…tell her all my feelings…and she'll never make fun of me or think I'm stupid. As long as I feed her and take her for runs, she loves me. I don't have to worry about being let down. And I was lonely…Diamond made that go away."

"For how long?"

"Only a little while," Jordan admitted.

"She couldn't hurt you, but she's not the same as a person," Matt filled in.

Jordan shook her head. "No…but I don't want to get rid of her…I still want her around."

"Of course you do. She's a good dog."

They sat together a little while longer before Jordan spoke up again. "I think I'm going to go to bed, Matt. It's been a long day."

"Okay," he replied. "You want me to stay again?"

"Please," Jordan said. She gave him a small smile and he squeezed her hand. She got up and found all of the things to make the couch into a bed.

"Good night, Jordan," Matt said as he wrapped her in another hug.

"Good night, Matt," Jordan said back and went into her room. She didn't go to sleep, however. She waited until she heard Matt's breathing evened out before quietly getting up and going over to him.

Carefully, Jordan eased herself onto the couch and laid down next to him. He didn't move, and Jordan felt secure enough to let sleep overtake her then.

She hadn't realized that Matt was still awake. When he knew Jordan was asleep, he gently put his arm around her and drew her close. He kissed the back of her head, and joined her in sleep.

* * *

When Jordan awoke, she cautiously disentangled herself from Matt. She was slightly surprised to find herself wrapped in his arms, but enjoyed the feeling anyway. She took a shower and came out just as Matt woke up.

"Hey," she said shyly.

"Hey," he said back. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah, I did. You?"

"Great. Mind if I use your bathroom?" Matt decided not to let Jordan know that he was aware of why she slept so well.

Jordan nodded her consent and went to make breakfast. She really had slept well. She was amazed and perplexed at how quickly she was opening up to him. It scared her—she was terrified of getting hurt again. But Matt was such a comfort to her; she needed him. Jordan pushed her fear aside. Matt understood her, and that was all that mattered right now.


	13. Making Amends

Chapter Thirteen: Making Amends

Jordan stepped off the elevator lightly. After saying goodbye to Matt, they had driven separate cars to work today. Jordan had a spring in her step for the first time in months. She was actually beginning to enjoy herself again.

Bug came out of the crypt just as Jordan passed.

"Good morning, Jordan," he said amiably.

"Hi, how are you?" Jordan replied, surprised. It had been a long time since anyone at the morgue started a conversation with her.

"I'm good, thanks. I've got a body I'm getting ready to cut, want to help?"

"Uhhh…okay. Just give me a minute to drop off my stuff."

"Great, see you in there."

Jordan continued to her office severely confused. She was about two steps away when Nigel came bounding out of nowhere.

"Hey, love," he said. Then he wrapped her in the tightest hug she'd ever received.

"Nigel! What are you doing?" Jordan asked, shocked.

"Jordan, I would do anything to get you back," he said honestly. "You're one of my best friends. I'm so sorry. I never should have teased you." He pulled back and looked her in the eye.

Jordan's wide eyes stared back at him. His apology was so unexpected that all she could do was nod. Nigel smiled and squeezed her shoulders. "Whenever you're ready, love. I'm here for you." Jordan nodded again and Nigel left her just outside her office.

She went in and shut her door. What had gotten into her friends? Not a word from them—just how she wanted it—and now they were flocking around her. Jordan sat down in her chair and put her head in her hands. She needed a few minutes to process all of this.

That didn't happen, because when she opened her eyes, she noticed a card addressed to her sitting on top of her desk. When she opened it, Jordan saw that it was from Lily.

Another apology, this one in true Lily fashion. Jordan threw down the card and buried her head in her arms. She tried to stop the tears from coming, but they came anyway.

She was still angry at all of them. They were so quick to criticize her, and now they wanted her forgiveness? What right did they have to it? Their words had been so hurtful…the apologies were almost like salt on her wounds. She had heard nothing from them in months, and all of the sudden they wanted to be her friends again. And they just expected her to play along?

Shoving her tears back, Jordan picked up her cell phone.

"Seely," the voice answered.

"Matt!" Jordan said, her voice cracking. "Why are they all apologizing to me?"

There was a pause on the other end. Finally, Matt said, "Because they realized that they had hurt you."

"Did you tell them?" Jordan's voice rose in fear. No, he couldn't have. Not now…he couldn't have betrayed her trust. If he did, Jordan didn't think she could handle it.

"No," Matt said firmly. "Jordan, I did not tell them anything that you told me. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Then how…?"

"They weren't doing anything…just letting you slip away. You all are family; I wasn't about to let them screw that up."

"But you said—"

"Let me finish," Matt admonished. "They blamed everything on Woody. All I did was tell them to consider everything you'd been through and to look at themselves too. They filled in the gaps on their own. I did not tell them anything that you told me—not what they said, not how you felt, nothing. Okay?"

"Okay," Jordan said, relieved slightly. "But I don't feel any better about them."

"You don't have to. Jordan, you don't have to accept their apologies."

"…I don't?"

"No. Not if you're not ready to. You will be, eventually. But if that isn't now, then that's okay. You don't owe them anything. They're your friends, they can wait."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive, sweetheart."

* * *

It had been a long day. Jordan was more than ready to go home. All day she had been confronted with her friends' hopeful looks. Each time, she passed by without acknowledging anything. She had been almost happy at the dejected looks that followed, although it didn't really make her feel a whole lot better.

Garret was the only one who wasn't groveling for her forgiveness. On the contrary, he had treated her completely professionally the whole day.

However, just as she was about to leave, Garret called her into his office.

"What did you need?" Jordan asked, standing in the doorway.

"Come on in, Jordan. This won't take long."

She stepped into the office, but did not sit down. Garret came around from behind his desk and leaned against the front. He looked down, as though he was gathering his thoughts.

"I know that you've been through a lot this year," he began.

Jordan was quick to cut in on him. "If you are going to give me another apology, you can just stop now."

He looked up. "Jordan, just listen to what I have to say." She looked skeptical, so he added, "I'm still your boss."

Jordan crossed her arms defensively and waited.

"This year was tough," he continued. "It was tough on everyone, but especially you. I crawled into the bottle trying to avoid all of it, and you had to get me out. I owe you so much, but I didn't do anything about it. When you needed me, I wasn't there because I was too busy being a bitter old man with no alcohol to distract me."

Jordan set her jaw and looked away.

"I know you're still angry with me. And you have every right to be. Just…if you ever want to let me in again, I'll be here. And I will do my very best to never hang you out to dry again."

Garret finished his speech and took a few steps toward her.

"You're like my daughter, sister, and best friend all wrapped up into one," he said. "I love you…and I won't ever stop."

Jordan swallowed. Still not looking at him, she whispered, "Yeah…anything else?"

"No. Not for now."

She nodded, turned on her heel, and quickly left. She didn't stop, opting to take the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. She was utterly overwhelmed. All she wanted was to go home and make the world stop spinning out of her control.


	14. About Woody

Chapter Fourteen: About Woody

Weeks passed by. Each day was a little easier for Jordan. Matt was there, by her side. She was amazed at how patient he was—no one else had ever been that understanding with her and her issues before.

Things at work got easier too. Jordan hadn't let her friends back in, but she had allowed her professionalism to ease up just a tiny bit. She didn't feel quite so isolated anymore.

Matt and Jordan had a steady routine. They always had either lunch or dinner together, and spent almost the whole weekend side by side. They ran with the dog, watched movies, or just sat and talked. Jordan felt so comfortable with Matt; it was getting easier and easier to be open with him.

On a Friday night, Matt and Jordan were sitting together on the couch. The pizza was eaten, the movie watched, and everything was calm. They were just sitting, Matt leaning against the back of the couch and Jordan leaning against him. It was Jordan's favorite thing to do with Matt.

Jordan sighed contentedly and Matt ran his hand down her arms. She snuggled closer, and Matt's hand moved to her hair. Then, very gently Matt kissed the side of her head. Jordan smiled and turned to face him. He smiled back and leaned in closer to her. His lips brushed hers with the utmost tenderness.

Instantly, Jordan tensed and pulled back.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Matt asked, confusion written all over his face.

"I…I-I can't…I can't do this," Jordan stammered. She bit her lip and looked at her hands.

"Why not?" he whispered.

"You wouldn't understand…I just can't," she said. To Jordan's horror, tears welled up in her eyes.

"Try me."

"No…please, Matt," Jordan begged. "I don't want this to end…you mean too much to me. Please!"

"Sweetheart, what does that mean?"

Jordan shook her head fervently. "You can't know…you won't want me anymore if you find out."

Matt looked at her for a minute. Then he softly pulled her back to him and held her close.

"Jordan, you can tell me. Whatever you say is safe with me. I will not hate you, no matter what," he coaxed. "Please, tell me what's bothering you."

"No, I can't," she whispered into his chest. A small sob escaped from her lips.

"Shhhh…shhh…it's okay Jordan. It's okay." He held her tighter and rubbed circles on her back. "Is it about Woody?"

Another sob, this one louder. Jordan nodded.

"Okay, okay. What happened? It's all right, sweetheart. Let it out. It's all right."

"Woody…he was so mad at me when he got shot. I told him that I loved him, and he said it was just pity. He wouldn't talk to me or anything. I started dating JD cause…cause I just wanted to be with someone…and after a while it was okay…and then…then…," Jordan trailed off as she cried harder.

"Keep going, honey. It's okay, you can tell me," Matt encouraged her.

"Then…in January…we were at that Inn in the middle of nowhere. It was like before, when we were friends. We kind of made up…and…and…we made love," she said the last part just above a whisper. "I was still with JD, but Woody wanted me to leave him right away. I felt terrible for cheating on him…JD really cared about me, and I hurt him…but I…was in love with Woody, so I left him."

Matt's mind spun. If all that happened, why was Woody with Lu? "What happened next?" he asked.

"I don't know…Woody…I guess he didn't think I broke up with JD fast enough…but I really don't know…Woody said that he didn't want to be my rebound guy…that we should take it slow," she paused to take a breath. "Then the next week, he started dating Lu." At that, Jordan burst into heavy sobs.

As Matt held onto Jordan, who was crying so hard her shoulders shook, his body burned with anger. How could Woody do that? How could he? Even at his worst, Matt had never, _ever_ treated a woman with such disrespect. Matt always thought that Woody was an upstanding, decent guy. Not anymore…now he knew that Woody was only out for himself.

Matt mentally shook himself and tried to calm down. Getting angry would only make Jordan more upset. "I am so sorry," he said solemnly. "Jordan, you did not deserve to be treated that way."

"Yes, I did!" she wailed. "I'm a slut! Isn't that what you think?"

"No, Jordan. NO!" Matt said loudly. His firmness startled Jordan, and she looked up at him. He held her gaze and kept a solid grip on her sides. "You are not a slut. Do you hear me? You're not. What you did, you did out of love. That's not slutty. If anyone is a slut, it's Woody."

Jordan broke his stare, unable to believe him. "But I…"

"No buts, sweetheart. You're not a slut, and I don't hate you."

"Really?" she said it so timidly, Matt's heart wrenched.

"Yes, really," he answered. "It's all right, Jordan. I'm still here with you."

She laid her head back on his shoulder. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart."

They sat in the silence for a long time. Matt thought Jordan was asleep, but then she broke the stillness. "Matt?"

"Hmmm?"

"I still can't…I just don't feel ready…to…," she let her voice fade away.

Matt squeezed her. "I know. It's okay, honey. I'm still your friend."

"Thank you," she whispered and settled back against him. A few minutes later, she was fast asleep.


	15. Acceptance

**Thanks for all the reviews! Things should start falling into place now...just a few more chapters to go.:-)**

Chapter Fifteen: Acceptance

"Ugh! Just go away!" Jordan half-shouted as she slammed the door. She stuck her tongue out a Lily's unsuspecting, retreating figure.

Jordan still hadn't made any move back towards her friends, although their countless attempts at camaraderie were becoming more and more frequent. It was as if they were desperate to have Jordan back, but she was just as desperate to stay as far away as possible.

Every time she thought about letting her friends back in, their hurtful words sprang up before her eyes. It was so much easier to push it away and stay in her shell than for Jordan to let it go.

As she sat down at her desk, hoping to get some paperwork finished before Matt came, someone tapped on her door.

"What do you want?" She yelled, irritation burning through her.

"Whoa, hold on. Had a rough day, honey?"

It was Matt. Jordan put her head in her hands and moaned. "I'm sorry…it's just…yes, it has been rough."

"No problem."

"Wait. Why are you here? You're not supposed to be off until 5," Jordan asserted.

Matt grinned and said, "Yeah, I know. I skipped out a little early…told the boss that I was picking up a report over here." Jordan smirked. "Which is not entirely false," Matt continued. "It's just that the report took all of 10 seconds."

They shared a chuckle, and Jordan began to stack her papers. The filing could always wait until tomorrow.

"So what's up with you? What was rough about today?" Matt asked, suddenly remembering her admission.

"Oh, you know…dead bodies, live people…same old stuff," she hedged. She was sure Matt had had enough of counseling her.

He peered at her in a perceptive way. "Spit it out, sweetheart."

Jordan sighed. "How do you always know?" she asked.

"I just know you, that's all."

"Okay…everyone here is driving me nuts. They keep trying to get back in my 'good graces.' It's so…stifling. All it's making me want to do is run farther away from them. Can't they understand that they hurt me? Why do they expect me to want to be friends with them again?" Jordan threw up her hands in frustration. She flopped down on the couch and Matt joined her.

He took her hands. "They do know that they hurt you, and they don't expect you're forgiveness right away…but they do _want_ your forgiveness. Those are two entirely different things. Because they do care about you, and love you so much, it hurts them to be separated. They don't know exactly how to make it up to you…you probably don't know either. But they still want to, more than you maybe realize."

"Yeah? Well maybe they deserve to hurt. Maybe they had it coming. If they treated me badly, then I have every right to treat them the same," Jordan said indignantly.

Matt paused. "Can I ask you something?"

Jordan nodded.

"Do you miss them?"

She didn't answer immediately. She turned her head away from Matt. "But the things they said.…"

"Were just that. Things they _said_. Not things the necessarily _meant_."

"But everything people say has a root in the truth!"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean that the truth part is bad. Jordan, think about something for me."

"What?"

"Would you have reacted this strongly to them if everything else hadn't all happened at the same time?"

Jordan hesitated. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that, if Garret's drinking, Kayla, and Woody all hadn't happened so closely together, would you have thought so much of their comments? Except for Woody's actions, the others' words were more like the teasing that goes on every day in people's lives. I think that you would've just let it all roll off your shoulders if everything hadn't spiraled into one big mess."

Jordan just sat there, taking in everything he said. Matt ran his hands up and down her arms comfortingly. Had anyone else mentioned this to her, Jordan would have taken offense. But coming from Matt, whom she trusted entirely, it all made sense.

"I guess…you're right," she said softly. At that moment, a huge invisible weight seemed to lift off her shoulders. She sank back against Matt, truly relaxed for the first time in months.

"Matt?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you mind if we skip dinner tonight?" she asked. "I think I need to catch up with some people."

Matt hugged Jordan tighter. "Not at all. I'll catch up with you tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure….and thanks, Matt. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You're welcome."

Jordan stood up and gathered her things. Right before she stepped out of her office, she impulsively kissed Matt on the cheek. She tried to leave quickly, but he swept her up in a hug before she could get away. He kissed her back on the cheek and then let her go.

As she walked down the hallway, Jordan turned back to Matt. He smiled and waved her on. She returned his smile and went back on her way. Maybe things were looking up…and maybe…


	16. Maybe Yes

Chapter Sixteen: Maybe Yes

Smiling, Jordan let herself into her apartment. Her and Lily had just been out for "girl time," something Jordan had sincerely missed. Of course, she thought twice about that after hearing Lily drone on and on about Jeffery most of the afternoon. But it was still a good time.

Diamond greeted her with a similar enthusiasm. It seemed that the dog shared Jordan's spirits this past week. Jordan laughed to herself—she guessed that it's really true that dogs become like their owners, or owners become like their dogs…or whatever.

Spontaneously, Jordan picked up the phone. The local pizza guy answered, and she ordered a large pie with breadsticks. Then, she called Matt.

"What's up?" he answered.

"Hey. You want to come over…pizza and a movie?"

"Hmmmm…let me check my schedule. Yes, I'd love to."

Jordan laughed. "Ok, just come whenever you're ready. The food's already on the way."

"What if I'd said no? Jumping a gun a bit, aren't you?" Matt queried.

"No. I just know you," she countered. "And it's not like I can't eat a whole pizza, so no harm done."

"Fine, whatever. I'll see you in about an hour."

"Okay, bye."

* * *

"And so, as we're driving over the bridge, the guy looks out the river and asks, 'You think there's water down there, Detective?'"

Both of them keeled over with laughter. "What was he on?" Jordan gasped between giggles.

"That's just it—nothing! He was a witness, and we were taking him in to get his statement. He's got to be the dumbest person on the face of the planet…whoever the perp's defense lawyer is will have field day with this one."

Jordan laughed a bit more. "That's the funniest thing I've heard all day."

"Of course it is…you hang out with stiffs and people who deadpan all day."

She rolled her eyes. "And that is definitely the _worst_ joke I've heard all day."

Matt simply smiled back at her. "What can I say? I try to be all things to all people."

Jordan picked up the last piece of pizza crust and fed it to Diamond. Then she and Matt cleared the coffee table and sat back down.

Out of the corner of his eye, Matt noticed Jordan fidget. He looked at her sideways, and she looked back at him for a moment.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," Matt replied. "You seem…nervous."

No, I'm fine," she said. Then, she turned to face him and smiled softly. She leaned in and pressed her lips firmly but softly against his.

When Jordan pulled back, Matt's face was full of shock. She smiled once more and leaned back in. This time, he responded to her. The kiss was slow, tender, and sweet. Almost unconsciously, Jordan moved to be in his lap.

That brought Matt back to his senses. He placed his hands gently on her waist and delicately broke the kiss. This time, Jordan's face registered the emotion—confusion.

"But I thought—?"

Matt ran a hand through her long dark curls. "I do sweetheart. Believe me, I do. But there's something I want more than that."

"What?"

"I want you to be able to know, with absolute certainty, that I won't hurt you. And that I won't leave you."

"Matt, I _do_ know that," Jordan said, a smile creeping up on one side.

He looked straight into her eyes. "Jordan, I don't even know that. I mean, I know that I won't hurt you—not intentionally. But I don't know that I won't leave you. Things might not work out…I'm not trying to condemn us before we start, but sex is a big deal. It's special. It's for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. And I can't guarantee you that yet. And you couldn't guarantee that to me either, right?"

"No," she said quietly. "But I want to have a relationship with you…Matt, I'm ready for that. I don't know that I can say that I love you yet…not that way…but I want to be together."

At that, it was Matt's turn to smile. "I'm not saying we can't be together, sweetheart."

She shook her head. "Then what are you saying?"

"Jordan, have you ever been in a relationship without having sex?"

Hanging her head, Jordan whispered, "No." Matt put his finger under her chin and raised it back up. "None of the other men I dated ever even indicated that it was okay not to…sex was just expected. And I kind of expected it to, so I never questioned it. Does that make sense?"

"Sure, it does. But it can work the other way, and I'd like to try."

"I don't know how to be with someone without…_being_ with them. Not that I've been particularly successful with any other man either, but…" Jordan's voiced faded away as she looked back at Matt.

"Every relationship is different. We'll figure out what works for us. Okay?"

Jordan smiled. "Okay." They shared a hug, and then leaned back against the cushions. Matt took her hand and rubbed circles on its back. "So…we just decide we're together, and that's it?" she asked.

"Yep, that's it," he said back. "Oh, and we get to do this anytime we want." He smiled mischievously and recaptured her lips.


	17. Deserving and Undeserving

**Leading on toward the end...just a few more chapters. Thanks for the reviews!**

Chapter Seventeen: The Deserving and Undeserving

"What do we got?" Jordan asked as she climbed down the embankment.

"One guy stabbed in the back, and another shot from a distance," Woody said, looking up once Jordan was close to him.

"Radio only said one body," Jordan said questioningly.

"Yeah, the other was several yards away, we didn't find him until CSU started looking around," he explained. There was more movement at the top of the hill. Both of them looked up to see what was going on.

A huge smile lit up Jordan's face, while Woody's clouded over. "Seely, why are you hear? Trying to take my case, are you? I was assigned to this, so go find someone else to annoy," he said angrily.

"Two bodies, two detectives," Matt replied. "Captain's orders. You got a problem with that, take it up with him." Then he turned to Jordan. "How's it going, hun?" he asked while putting his hand on her back.

"Fantastic, now," Jordan said back. Woody caught the intimate gesture, but chose to ignore it. Jordan began examining the first body, giving Matt all of the information while Woody checked in with the other officers.

While waiting for the morgue crew to load up body number one, Matt and Jordan chatted comfortably. Irritated, Woody called over, "Hey, Jordan! You going to come over to this guy, or should I do it myself?"

Jordan rolled her eyes so only Matt could see and headed towards Woody. Matt chuckled and went back to his notes.

"Okay, so they both died at different times," Jordan said almost immediately. "This guy died first, and he was killed here. The other one was dumped, and TOD for him is 7 hours later."

Woody had a half blank, half confused look on his face. "What does that mean, Jordan?"

"Well, gee. You're the detective, that's what you're supposed to figure out," Jordan shot back sarcastically. "But if you want my opinion, I'd say we're looking at two unrelated events…different weapons, different times…and you're guys didn't even find both bodies at the same time. Whoever killed the guy over there, he probably didn't know that it was already a crime scene."

"Jordan, come one. Two bodies in the same place…there has to be a connection," Woody countered.

"I don't know, her version sounds better to me," Matt said, coming up from behind and touching Jordan's arm.

Woody glared at him. "Of course you'd agree with her—it would be too hard for you to come up with an original idea."

"Wow, Hoyt. That was quite a comeback…better than I'd probably do," Matt replied without missing a beat. "But let's solve this problem before it becomes too unprofessional. I'll take the gun shot, you take the stabbing. _If_ they're connected, it will lead us back to each other. If not, then neither of us have to deal with the other. See, it all works out."

"Yeah, whatever," Woody said. He turned to go back up the hill. "Jordan, I want my report first, so you'd better get back and start it."

"Yeah, whatever," Jordan responded just loud enough for Woody to hear.

"What is your problem, Jordan?" he asked.

"I don't have one, but apparently you do. Your attitude is ridiculous. And just so you know, I won't be doing both autopsies. Nigel will do one, since he hasn't got a case yet today. I'll have him fax the report." She grabbed Matt by the arm and they both started for their cars.

"Don't you tell me about being professional. Dumping a case so you can spend more time with your boyfriend hardly meets the standard," Woody retorted. When he didn't get a response, he tried a different approach. "Hey Seely, you like screwing her? Me, I thought she was just average. But I guess that all the other girls you've had were so bad, that you wouldn't know mediocre if it jumped up and bit you."

They both spun around infuriated. Matt opened his mouth to say something, but Jordan beat him to it. "How _dare_ you," she seethed, her voice fierce and icy. "You have _no_ right to talk…not about me, not about Matt. _You _don't know anything about either of us."

"No, just that you cheat on your boyfriends and use all other guys for sex," Woody shot back.

Jordan's hand whipped out and slapped him. "SHUT UP! I cared for JD, but I loved you! YOU are the reason I did that, and I was not using you! YOU WERE USING ME! You think that I'm a slut? Well, you need to look in the mirror. It takes two Woody—you slept with me just as much as I slept with you! Only I fessed up to it, and I tried to make it right again. You went off and hopped into bed with your shrink! YOU HAVE NO PLACE ACCUSING ME OF ANYTHING!"

"YES I DO! You led me on for years, Jordan! How was I supposed to react? Just let you on in because you _say_ you're ready for me? I was not about to get myself hurt AGAIN!"

"Then you should've thought with your HEAD, not your PENIS!" Jordan paused to take a breath. In that moment everything became clear, and Jordan calmed down.

"If you really cared about me, and not about sex, you would have waited until you knew you could trust me," she went on quietly, but with an air of unswerving confidence. "You're just out for yourself, Woody. I regret what I did, but I've changed and moved on. You can say whatever you want about me, but you leave Matt alone. Go back to Lu."

Woody stared at her for a second. Then, almost unconsciously, he mumbled, "She broke up with me."

"Good," Jordan said seriously. "Lu's a good person. You don't deserve her affection either."

Jordan turned back around and took Matt's hand. She brought it up to her lips and kissed it. Matt was so shocked all he could do was gawk at her.

Finally, when they were almost to the car, he got his voice back. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.

Jordan smiled. "I'm fine," she said. "I think that I really, truly, just let go of it. I needed to face him, but then it suddenly didn't matter anymore. I realized what he did, but that I could forgive myself for my part…I'm yours now, Matt. No matter what."

Matt couldn't keep the big, goofy grin off his face. "I know," he said, and brushed her lips with his. "And I'm yours, too."


	18. Everything's All Right

Chapter Eighteen: Everything's All Right

"So, ladies, what are we doing tonight?" Bug inquired as Jordan and Nigel chatted conspiratorially by Nigel's huge new computer.

Nigel raised his eyebrow. "Who, us?"

"Yes, you. You've been talking about big plans all day, but you won't tell anyone what they are," Bug complained. "If you want us all to go out with you, you have to let us know where you're going."

"Oh, darn. We thought that you were psychic," Jordan replied with a smile.

"Actually, we didn't know if you'd really be interested, but since you are…well, when we tell you, you can't back out," Nigel prodded.

"Yes, yes. I get it. You gonna tell me or what?" Bug's patience was wearing out.

"Well, Bug, have you ever been salsa dancing?" Jordan asked, her lips curving mischievously.

* * *

Lively Latin music bounced around the club as the band played. Everyone from the morgue, including Matt and Lu, was there. After finding out that Lu dumped Woody, she had been invited into the family with open arms.

"This was a great idea, Jordan," she commented. It was still a little awkward between the two, but things were quickly becoming comfortable.

"Actually, it was Nige's," Jordan replied. "He's been coming here for years, but only now let us in on the secret."

Lu smiled and winked. "Who knew Nige was such a good dancer?"

"Oh, please. He's not that good," Bug said sourly in the corner. He'd come with them, but only begrudgingly—a dance club was not his idea of fun.

"I'd like to see you try and out do him," Jordan challenged. The whole group looked up, waiting for Bug's reaction.

"I would, except there's no one to dance with," he answered, but only half-heartedly.

Jordan looked around at the other girls. "Lily's here," she said quickly. "Lily, will you dance with Bug so he can prove he is a better dancer than Nigel?"

Lily looked only slightly hesitant. "Sure, why not?" she said.

As Bug and Lily danced, Nigel was with some random girl he had picked up. Everyone laughed at the two couples…both hopeless in skill, though it wasn't for lack of trying.

Garret was able to enjoy the spectacle the most, since he was not in the least bit inebriated. "You'd think that Nigel would be better, since he's been here before," he commented.

"My guess is that he wasn't coming here for the dances," Matt said. Then he turned to Jordan. "You want to show 'em how it's done?"

"Are you crazy? We don't know anything about salsa," Jordan replied incredulously.

Matt, however, wouldn't take no for an answer. "Just follow me," he whispered in her ear as he pulled her out on the floor. After a few minutes, he had Jordan spinning and swinging all over the place.

"They're really not too bad," Lu commented to Garret, now the only two at the table.

"No, they're not. I wonder where Matt learned how to do that."

"Oh, he's just full of surprises. I wouldn't put anything passed him."

After a few more minutes of sitting in the silence, Garret said, "Us just sitting here is boring. And I don't know the first thing about salsa, but you want to try it?"

Lu looked at him for a second before standing and following him out to the floor.

Soon they were all dancing around the floor, no longer caring for style or skill. Everyone laughed at everyone else, and they stayed well into the night. Jordan held on tightly to Matt, thankful that he was there. Thankful that he had shone her how much her friendships meant, and that he didn't give up on her.


	19. Forevers

**So this is the end. Thanks for sticking with me! I didn't realize that writing a dialogue-heavy piece was so difficult…I usually stick to persuasive/debate kind of stuff. Anyway, I have another story in my brain…but I'm going to give it a rest until the school year is over and I can send my students packing (YAY). But it won't be slow in coming. Till then—enjoy!**

Chapter Nineteen: Forevers

One last stop. Just one last stop, and Jordan could go home and start getting ready. She and Matt were going out for their sixth month anniversary, and she couldn't wait…although she didn't have a clue as to where they were going.

Matt was the one who remembered their milestone. While Jordan laughed at that, somehow it made sense. Matt really wasn't the insensitive jerk he made himself out to be…but Jordan wasn't the commitment-shy, totally stubborn freak she thought she was, either. Lily said that they brought each other's softer sides out.

Jordan tapped on the door and didn't wait to be invited in. "Here is the report you wanted, Detective," she said and dropped it straight onto Woody's desk. "If you have any questions, you can ask me tomorrow." She turned to leave, but Woody's voice stopped her.

"Hey, Jordan. Could you wait a moment?"

"Did you need something else?" she asked, puzzled. Her and Woody barely spent any time together—only cases, and it was strictly professional. While she no longer held any burning hatred for him, Jordan knew that it was unwise to open their relationship anything further than that.

"Yeah…I was just wondering…why don't we talk anymore? It's like there's this big divide between us, and I don't like it," he said dejectedly. He cast his eyes downward, almost shamefully.

"Woody, I think you know the answer to that," Jordan replied quietly. She made to leave again.

"I'm sorry."

She froze on the spot. For several moments, they both stood still, taking everything in. Then Jordan turned back to face him.

"Thank you," she said. "I appreciate that…I really do…"

Woody looked up hopefully, but his face fell once he saw the "but" in her eyes.

"Jordan, please don't do this…don't leave…I don't want to be without you," he pleaded.

"It's too late for that Woody. Maybe if there hadn't been so many mistakes…but that doesn't even matter. I'm happy now, where I'm at. I wouldn't change the last few months. And I can't go back to you…I can't put my heart on the line again."

"You really feel safe with Matt?"

"Yes. I do. I trust him completely. I used to trust you like that, Woody. But after everything…I just can't do it again. And I won't."

"Well," he said after a pause. "Can we at least be friends?" His expression was so broken that Jordan longed to comfort him, but she knew that nothing she could give him would be enough.

"No," she said. His head shot up. "I'm sorry, but we can't. I can't be friends with someone who wants more of me…I can't give you that, and I'll never be able to. Our relationship can be professional, and that's all."

"But maybe, after a while…if you and Matt die down," Woody let the question go unspoken.

"Woody, I'm not living for maybes anymore," Jordan said, more firmly this time. "I can't give you what you want, because I've already given it to someone else." The admission came out in a rush. Jordan was shocked at her own words.

Woody saw the truth written all over Jordan's face…he knew it was true, even if she was just realizing it. "You love him, don't you?"

A slow smile crept across her face, unable to be hidden. "Yes…I do." She looked at him with sympathy for a few seconds. "I'm sorry, Woody," she said finally. "But this is goodbye."

Woody was simply too disconsolate to say anything more, and watched miserably as she walked out of his office and out of his life.

* * *

"Hi, sweetheart," Matt said when Jordan opened the door for him. He stopped short when he saw her. Her dress was deep maroon, hugging her in all the right places, and her hair was in curly waves all down her back. "You look…gorgeous," he continued when he finally found his voice again.

Jordan chuckled. "Thanks. You look good too." She pressed her lips to his for a brief moment. "So where are we going?"

"Oh, no. You're not getting to me that easily," Matt replied with a smirk. Jordan rolled her eyes in mock frustration. "But I did bring you flowers." Matt held up a bouquet of perfectly arranged red and pink roses.

Jordan's cheeks turned uncharacteristically pink. "Thank you," she said softly. "They're beautiful."

She put them in a vase and allowed Matt to escort her out of the apartment.

He took her to a very quaint, yet very classy Italian restaurant. The evening was perfect, with a little dancing and a lot of talking. When the waiter had left them alone with their drinks and dessert, Jordan spoke up.

"You know, I realized something today…had kind of a light bulb moment," she began. Matt took her hand and waited for her to continue. She squeezed his hand and smiled shyly. "I feel like a schoolgirl," she said, laughing a bit.

"Jordan, you are many things, but that is not one of them," Matt responded.

Grateful for the break in tension, Jordan went on, "I realized today…that...I think…no, I know…that I love you." She held her breath then, not sure if she should have said that.

All her doubts were put to rest, however, when she looked into Matt's eyes. His other hand went to her face and gently stroked her cheek. He leaned over the table closer to her.

"Well…guess what, Jordan?" he murmured, leaning still closer.

"What?" she asked, reciprocating the movement. They're lips were only millimeters apart now.

"I love you too," he whispered just before he caught her lips in his. As their tender kiss deepened, Jordan knew, without question, that she was where she was supposed to be. She was truly back home.


End file.
